My Boyfriend the Otaku
by Edlama
Summary: Gaara does not want Naruto to see his bedroom. What kind of shameful secret does he hide there? Written for Cardcaptor Eternity's birthday! Happy B-day, Eternity-Chan! Warnings: Fanboys! Crack - UnBeta'ed


**Written for Cardcaptor Eternity's Birthday!! Happy Birthday, Eternitychou! I hope you'll have the best day ever, full of gifts, cakes and kisses!**

**\Ahem/ I know that offering a fic to your beta is somewhat a bit like offering a bouquet to a florist (kind of remind you of your job), but that's the only thing my meagre talents could do, Eternity!**

**And I hope you'll take off your Beta Hat when reading this… I don't plan to edit it, it'll stay permanently as a testimony of your talents as a beta!**

**Disclaimer:** **I disclaim! **

**Story Note:**** Set in a typical TWT (as in Timeline? What Timeline?)**

**My Boyfriend the Otaku**

« My bedroom ? » he managed to keep the panic out of his voice.

"Yeah, your bedroom!" the loud, blond-haired Ninja bounced slightly on his bed. "Cuz, ya know, I was thinking about re-decorating that one," He gestured widlly at the spacious suite that Gaara let at his disposal every time the Konohan shinobi came to visit. "Not that the decoration sucks or anything, it's totally classy but just a bit, er, impersonal… Anyway I was thinking about it then I wondered how come I never saw Gaara-chan's bedroom? So I'm asking you, dattebayo!"

Gaara flushed. Of course, he should have guessed that Naruto would want to see it at some point. It was only natural. Except for Gaara. After all, a bedroom served mostly for two main purposes: sleeping and having sex. Despite the removal of Shukaku, Gaara was still not very used of the first action. As for the second, he was still stuck on the 'shy kisses and slight groping' stage since Kankurou and Temari had deemed him 'Not Ready' for more. This meant that whenever they went for a walk, there was a stalking sibling a few feet behind them, or that they have to watch TV with a bowl of popcorn distance between each other, and when they went to Naruto's room, they have to let the door _opened_, which completely stripped going to one's bedroom of any interest.

Truth to be told, Gaara's bedroom serves only one purpose, one that he had wished to hide from his boyfriend.

Without much hope, he said "There's nothing very interesting to see, Naruto."

"Aw, come on, I want to know where you not-sleep!" the shinobi grinned his foxy smile at his own –lame- joke.

"Do you really want to see that now? Because I was thinking that maybe, we could go out for ramen?" the Kazekage was growing desperate.

"YAY, RAM- hey, wait I thought there was no ramen stand in Suna?" the blonde leaf nin scrunched his brows in confusion "-and we've just finished eating?!"

"Okay, I'll show you my room." Gaara sighed, defeated. There was no arguing against Fate, especially when it was such a bitch. Besides, he did not now what was worse: Naruto seeing his bedroom or knowing that there _was_ a few ramen stands in Suna.

He slowly made his way through the Kage quarters, a happy blond following close behind him. He briefly entertained the idea of pushing Naruto in one of the numerous and anonymous suites and kiss him to oblivion, but he did not want to risk Temari's wrath if she caught them at it. He had already been grounded for a month after she found suspicious buttery stains on the TV couch (meaning that the bowl of popcorn had been caught in a bit of 'roughing up').

Furthermore, if he had often caught the expression 'kiss someone to oblivion' in Temari's books (the ones she hid behind the encyclopedia), he had no real idea how one does that. His recent knowledge in romance made him doubt that this was achieved by using the closeness of kissing to make a sneak attack on your beloved, as he first assumed. But it was possible since the covers of Temari's books were indeed showing unconscious women. Or rather, muscular men that held collapsing women over their gleaming chests.

So far the contents of the books had glossed over the technicalities, but Gaara was determined. That trick was sure too handy not to be mastered!

He stopped his musing when they reached a pair of ancient-looking mahogany doubled doors. He glared at them. Those were not the kind you just have to turn a handle to open, but rather have to push dramatically, which would make the outcome even more ludicrous.

He swung the doors open. They moved theatrically forward. Gaara sighed.

He heard Naruto suckled in a startled breath, but refused to meet his eyes, preferring to focus his gaze on the sight before him.

"Wow…" He felt Naruto bypassing him to enter the room.

They were shelves of it. His dirty secret. Toys, figurines, plushies, videogames… even mugs and keychains and lamps and Kami knows what else.

Naruto stopped on the middle of the room and made a complete turn, his eyes as round as saucers. Except for Mr Cuddles –the sole companion of his lonely childhood- which was propped on the –unused- bed, and a couple of items, the whole bedroom was decorated with the same theme.

"… so you like Sailor Moon?!"

Gaara averted his gaze, preferring to take comfort from the black and button-y eyes of Mr Cuddles.

"It's not like that, " He amended. "It was Kankurou's idea. Back when I wanted to become the Kazekage, we had to start a campaign of sort, so that people could see that I was not a bloodthirsty monster. Oh well, not anymore, at least. Temari suggested that I should start having 'normal' hobbies, like painting, or knitting."

He pointed to a canvas that looked like it had an unfortunate encounter with red paint, a (hopefully for it) dead pigeon and a chain saw. It was hanged next a chair upon which a hand-knitted doll -that had a lot of red and brownish threads bursting from its open belly- was seated. Gaara frowned. He had been very happy with the results, especially with the doll (and knitting realistic organs was _not_ easy), but…

"Apparently, my siblings were not convinced with what I produced." Temari had even cried a bit when she saw the doll. "Then Kankurou said that the whole point was to make me look inoffensive, so he proposed that I became an Otaku."

He scratched his head, still refusing to meet his boyfriend's eyes.

"According to him, Otakus are the most inoffensive creatures on earth, right above earth worms and Hinata Hyuuga. Especially the kind that like magical girls. And Sailor Moon was beginning to be rather popular back then, so they suggested that I should start collecting things based on it, and made it known to the whole village."

He smiled a bit, remembering the jaw-slacked expressions and open disbelieving stares he had received when he first take a walk around his city with a Kitty Luna keychain dangling from his gourd strap, complete with a pink Chibiusa weapon pouch.

"But the best thing was," he continued. "It worked. Soon there were people smiling at me in the street, or when I entered shops. A few of them would come to me –even little children!- and offer me Sailor Moon pictures, stickers or magnets that they'd found in their chocolate, cheese or whatever…Then I started to receive even bigger gifts via mail, even more so since I was named Kazekage. So…" he squared his shoulder and finally turned toward his boyfriend.

"… you might find it funny, but those are the testimony of the affection my people have in me, as well as the first gifts I ever received, and as such…" his voice trailed off.

Naruto was paying him no mind. Instead, the blond Ninja was busy going over the coloured stuff on his shelves while emitting various squeaks of excitement.

"… and you even got the one-shots with Sailor V, I thought those were not edited anymore'ttebayo! And OhmyGOSH is that a signed drawing?! Maaaaan, you're sure lucky!"

Gaara blinked. "Am I?"

"Well, DUH. This stuff's worth probably half your… your health budget!"

Gaara shrugged. His _boots_ were probably worth half of Suna's Health budget. Medecine in the Sand was mostly based on stitches as surgery, aspirin for infection and alcohol as anaesthetics. The Motto above the doors of Suna's Hospital was 'If you made it that far, you're probably better off without our Medics".

He eyed the shelves of goodies with renew interest, then shake his head. They were gifts, he could not alienate them.

"And how come you know that?" he was addressing Naruto.

His boyfriend smiled and made a V sign. "You've got before your eyes the N° 1 Sailor Moon Fan in Konoha!"

"Really?"

The blond winked and held up his hands. "Just you watch!" he quickly formed a seal. "Cosplay no Jutsu!"

There was a _Fwhoomp!_ smoke, and…

It looked a bit like the Oroitoke no Jutsu. That was probably because of the blond pigtails, except that they were now curled at the end, just like those of Bunny. But Naruto was still a male, and instead of being nude, he was now dressed in a schoolgirl uniform just like the one the Sailor warriors wear, complete with the puffy red ribbon on a –very flat- chest, and a little diadem.

Naruto put his hands on his hips.

"See that?" he said. "three times winner of Konoha's cosplay competition, shojo category, and twice made it to the final of the general competition! Sasuke-teme was _livid_! Ha! He was just jealous 'cause his Cardcaptor Sakura Costume was so _lame_! He didn't even have the correct staff, Datteba… eh, Gaara, why your nose's bleeding?"

Gaara could only stare at his handsome boyfriend who was now displaying very naked legs out of a very short skirt. Something was moving in him. It was tall, muscular, with a gleaming chest and abs and it was begging to be left out and cause some _swooning_.

Gaara let his newly discovered instincts override him. He pounced.

Needless to say, when Temari finally found them, she was not pleased at all.

Amongst the screeching, Gaara understood that he was grounded until his eighteen birthday. Or was that eighty? He did not care though.

He smirked smugly to himself.

He finally had found use for his bed.

-The End-

**Voilà! I hope it pleased you, Eternity-chou!**** \is embarrassed/**

**For those who are reading this and wondering where on hell did that come from, well, I pr****ompted myself using CardcaptorEternity's profile page. She likes Sailor Moon and Cardcaptor Sakura as well as Naruto. (However I have not the faintest idea of what Avatar is)**

**None of the goodies I ****mentioned here exist for sure. They might, who knows, but I made it all based on the Wikipedia page about Sailor Moon.**


End file.
